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Dear Kevin (@thatkevinsmith),

Dear Kevin (@thatkevinsmith),

It pains me to write this but to paraphrase you I have a certain voice and the internet is here for me exploit it. Please don’t take this as a lament of a nerdy guy sitting in his directors arm chair declaring what it’s good and whats not. I have been taken and I have followed you revelry by the wandering dispensers of truth(s) and bud. Weaving themselves in and out tales of meccas of merchandise, corner store purgatories, irrevocably ink stained hearts, adventures in bible sitting and finally there own story of home grown vengeance and how to get the girl in the end.

I will never watch Yoga Hosers (@yogahosers), your love for my home and native land is glowing and fervent but when I heard about this production it cut me to quick. Making a film about two Canadian girls working at an after school job in a Manitoba convenience store only to be menaced by an unknown and superannuated evil from the depths of the Earth’s core. But it wasn’t being filmed in Canada?

I don’t mean to trivialize the film itself and the hard working men & women who worked on it, But I think you missed a really important character in your casting call. That would be The Dominion of Canada herself in all her red, white but never blue glory. It’s a minor pharisaim to profess and show your love for a place and it’s people, but to make a film essentially about us seemingly without us.

You flew the flag proudly on Shannon Doherty‘s denim jacket. Do you feel unloved by your cousins across the border? Arguably you along with Mewes were the most entertaining guest stars Degrassi has ever had. Too illustrate my thoughts imagine if in 1962 in production for Lawrence Of Arabia starring the late great Peter O’Toole himself based on historical or generally accepted facts. In the pro production of the film they deiced well we only need a desert why don’t we just go to Nevada to shoot it? It’ll be great weekends we can go into town play craps and won’t have to deal with moving the whole operation to Morocco and Jordan. I mean really after all sand is the same everywhere isn’t it?

Cover of "Lawrence of Arabia (Single Disc...

Cover via Amazon

Really who would care if you tell a story about a place and a people and a culture. Featuring actor and actress’s from these cultures and of these people. If they were too do so without such magnanimous elements seems quite callow and spurious.

As I said in the beginning I follow you with great revelry, when Clerks III comes I will be there opening day just as I did for Clerks II. Stoked with all the promise and exuberance one man can muster. But as long as you fly the meritorious pennon of Canada on film outside her transcendent borders. My disappointment will be immodest using the best option(s) available to me I will abstain from viewing then vote with my wallet and not invite it into my home to adorn my shelf or digital library as were quickly coming too.

Sincerely,

Dave

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